HDoMs and Rowing Boats

Sometimes you just have horrible days and misunderstandings. Sometimes there is a surgery going on in the middle of that horrible day of misunderstanding. And you’ll spend the next 24 hours in a post op dilaudid and then vicodine haze of crying and feeling lonely and left. You’ll realize you could have handled the situation better but you logically know that in that moment of the catalyst for the Horrible Day of Misunderstandings (HDoMs) there was no way for you to realize how to handle it because of the Horrible Night of Pre Op Prep. 
And then you reconvene the next night and you cry some more while you push and push and finally POP. BAM. Crumbling down go the walls and you realize that you have a lot more to realize about each other. That’s okay. You’re a team. Sometimes one of you will be mean and angry and seem to be blowing the other person off. So you say to your teammate that you need them to take a breath, reorient. And then you ask what’s wrong. And then you ask them for what it was you needed from them.
It’s an ebb and a flow. And you’re on the boat together. Are you with me so far? You’re a team and you’re on this boat of a relationship going with the ebbs and the flows and learning how to be there and show up on those HDoMs. But don’t ever bail. Don’t try to get in another boat and row away because you feel wronged. Slap that person upside the head with your oar and say “no! we are rowing this thing together! help me. help you.” 

help me…help you.

I am an Advocating Creator.

According to PersonalDNA, these are my traits:


  • Your imagination, confidence, willingness to explore, and appreciation of beauty make you a CREATOR.
  • You are independent, and you enjoy your self-sufficiency.
  • Defying convention, you are very innovative, and you have a vivid imagination.
  • The look of things is important to you, and you have a keen eye for aesthetic beauty in multiple arenas.
  • You have a strong interest in what is new and exciting—and that includes forging ahead with new ideas, not simply discovering what is already out there.
  • Your eagerness to seek new and varied experiences leads you into many different situations.
  • You’re not set on one way of doing things, and you are creative when it comes to finding novel solutions to complex problems.
  • You trust yourself to be innovative and resourceful.
  • Your confidence allows you to take your general awareness and channel it into creativity.
  • You’re not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you’re generally considerate of others’ feelings as well.



  • Being social, empathic, and understanding makes you ADVOCATING.
  • Some people find being around others exhausting—but not you! You are energized by spending time with friends, and you are good at meeting new people.
  • One of the reasons you enjoy conversation as much as you do is that you often learn about yourself while talking things out with a friend; you realize things about your own beliefs while discussing them with others.
  • You have insight into what others are thinking and feeling. This ability allows you to be happy for others, and to commiserate when something has gone wrong for them.
  • You are highly compassionate, and being conscious of how things affect those close to you leaves you cautious about trusting others too hastily.
  • Despite these reservations, you are open-minded when it comes to your worldview; you don’t look to impose your ways on others.
  • Your sensitivity towards others’ plights contributes to an understanding—both intellectual and emotional—of many different perspectives.
  • As someone who understands the complexities of the world around you, you are reluctant to pass judgments.

I would say this is mostly accurate. What are your results?

That awkward moment when…

…someone asks a military brat where they’re from. Seriously. I never know how to respond to this question. I usually say something along the lines of “Welllllll….I’ve lived in Georgia the longest but I was born in Nebraska but then we moved to Washington State but I also lived in Hawai’i and Washington DC.” I think I consider Georgia to be “where I’m from”. As I said, I’ve lived here the longest. But I don’t feel like it really rings true with what my sense of “home” is. I miss DC. I miss being someplace with  lot of things to do and culture that isn’t represented by beer and all things fried food. Don’t get me wrong, I love the South. It’s a decent place, despite the trashiness displayed by some of its inhabitants mixed with the Bible thumping that I can never seem to escape. I just…want something more. I belong in a sanctuary of mountains and nature. So, needless to say, I am excited to be moving to Colorado in April/May. I will miss being close to my parents and brother but I think it’s time I use the wings I’ve finally grown this past year and be someplace I can find happiness and belonging. I’m not saying Colorado will necessarily be it but I have high hopes.
The place I dream of “settling” at is one with rolling land and animals speckled across fields. A barn just a ways from the cozy yet elegant house my husband and I have decided to live in and kids playing in the yard. A place that has beautiful Autumns and luxurious Summers. A place I feel my heart beating through. I want to be able to have my own gardens and grow my own food and ride my own horses on my own property. Some day…

I think I’m just going to start responding to the question of where I’m from with “America.”


The Empress